How to Build Self-Confidence as a Leader: You Become What You Tell Yourself

Great leaders don’t start with unshakable self-confidence. They build it. If you’ve ever doubted yourself as a leader, you’re not alone. Every successful leader has faced uncertainty, hesitation, and fear of failure. But what separates those who lead with conviction from those who hesitate?

The answer lies in self-belief.

Your mindset isn’t just a reflection of your confidence, it actively shapes it. The way you talk to yourself determines the actions you take, the risks you embrace, and the success you achieve.

So, what does the journey to self-confidence look like?

Here are six stages every leader goes through when building self-belief:

  1. “I Can’t Do It.” – The Block of Self-Doubt

This is where most people get stuck.

When doubt creeps in, it builds invisible barriers. You tell yourself:

  • “I’m not qualified.”
  • “Others are better than me.”
  • “What if I fail?”

This stage is crippling, and it keeps potential leaders from taking action. The mind is wired to protect us from risk, but the truth is, most limitations exist only in our heads.

🛠 How to move past this stage:

  • Identify the doubt: What are you afraid of? Be specific.
  • Challenge the thought: Is this fear fact or just assumption?
  • Flip the script: Instead of “I can’t,” ask, “What if I could?”

Self-doubt is only permanent if you allow it to be.

  1. “I Want to Do It.” – The Spark of Desire

The difference between those who stay stuck and those who succeed? A decision.

At this stage, you recognize that something needs to change. You want to grow, improve, and become a leader who commands respect.

This is where ambition kicks in. You don’t have the confidence yet, but you have the desire.

🛠 How to build momentum:

  • Write down WHY you want to lead. What drives you?
  • Find role models. Who inspires you?
  • Remind yourself that everyone starts somewhere.

Desire is powerful, but it means nothing without action.

  1. “How Can I Do It?” – The Shift to Solutions

Desire without action is just a wish. Leaders take the next step: They look for solutions.

This is where your mindset starts shifting. Instead of thinking about what you can’t do, you start asking:

  • “What skills do I need?”
  • “Who can mentor me?”
  • “What actions will get me closer to my goal?”

🛠 Confidence-building strategies:

  • Break big goals into small steps. Progress fuels belief.
  • Surround yourself with doers. Their energy will push you forward.
  • Start before you feel ready. Confidence grows through action, not preparation.

The right questions open the door to confidence.

overcoming doubt

  1. “I’m Going to Try.” – The Power of Taking Action

This is the turning point.

At this stage, effort replaces hesitation. Instead of overthinking, you start doing.

But here’s what most people don’t realize: Confidence isn’t built by feeling ready—it’s built by taking action despite feeling unready.

🛠 How to strengthen your confidence:

  • Start small but start now. Take one courageous action today.
  • Detach from perfection. Leadership isn’t about being flawless—it’s about being resilient.
  • Document your progress. Wins, no matter how small, reinforce self-belief.
Build Self-Confidence as a Leader

  1. “I Can Do It.” – The Shift to Self-Belief

This is where confidence begins to solidify.

You’ve taken action. You’ve faced fears. You’ve built momentum. Now, belief takes root.

You start seeing proof:
✔ You led a team meeting, and it went well.
✔ You made a tough decision and owned the outcome.
✔ You spoke up when you used to stay quiet.

Your confidence isn’t just theoretical anymore, it’s earned.

🛠 How to sustain this growth:

  • Keep pushing your limits. Growth happens at the edge of your comfort zone.
  • Embrace failures as lessons. Setbacks don’t define you—your response does.
  • Celebrate your wins. Confidence thrives on proof of past success.
building self-belief

  1. “I Did It.” – The Victory of Self-Trust

The final stage isn’t about external validation. It’s about proving to yourself that you are capable.

At this point, doubt doesn’t disappear, but it no longer controls you. You’ve faced your fears and won.

This is where leaders truly own their confidence. They no longer wait for permission to lead. They step up.

🛠 How to keep growing:

  • Set bigger challenges. Leadership is a continuous journey.
  • Teach others. The best way to solidify confidence is by helping others grow.
  • Revisit your journey. Remember how far you’ve come.

Final Thoughts: You Become What You Tell Yourself

Confidence isn’t a gift. It’s a decision.

It’s built through action, resilience, and self-awareness. Every leader who has ever doubted themselves has had two choices—stay stuck or take a step forward.

Which stage are you in right now?

SHARE:
Professional Skills12 Professional Skills That Require Zero Talent: but Will Set You Apart
The Leadership BlindspotThe Leadership Blindspot: Why What You Ignore Could Be What’s Holding You Back

Subscribe to our Podcast

Hosted by our very own Ben Stocken and Benjamin Wade our ‘How They Lead’ podcast aims to evolve the way people perform in leadership roles by showcasing a variety of high performance interviews with people from Patrick Kershaw from The RAF Red Arrows to CEO’s like Steve Phillips who help large brands like Pepsi, Mars and Unilever.

Get one step ahead – Click below to subscribe.

Ben Stocken and Ben Wade