Four steps that made my dreams a reality

I’m a goal realization expert… Here’s four steps that made my dreams a reality – and could help YOU do the same

Many people end up disappointed because while they have goals in life, they don’t pursue them – but an expert has shared four steps to make them a reality.

The key to achieving your life’s elusive goals is to be methodical in your approach and not to dream about a plan merely, said Ben Stocken, a goals realization expert at business performance consultants West Peak.

Stocken noted that he used his techniques to persuade himself to complete an arduous Ironman triathlon that consisted of 2.4 miles swimming, 112 miles cycling, and 26 miles running.

The expert has shared his techniques that can push you over that hill of failure, which include finding the right people to share your aspirations with and how to delay defeat.

‘Everyone has goals they want to achieve in life, but too many people end up disappointed because they fail to pursue them properly,’ he said.

‘If you don’t plan for how you’re going to make it happen, the chances are you’ll never even start. 

‘Too often, these goals are vague, not thought through, and sometimes unrealistic.

‘Whatever your goal is, following these processes will greatly increase the chance of winning.

Tell people about your goals – and find like-minded people

The single biggest ‘blocker’ that prevents people from achieving their goals is loneliness, said Stocken.

Having people aware of your goals ensures that you have to stick to them, just as when former President John F. Kennedy stood before Americans and announced that he aimed to put a man on the moon.

After that point, he HAD to do it, Stocken said.

He said, ‘The same is true of your goals. If you tell your friends and family that you want to learn the saxophone within ten years, they will remind you of that goal and hopefully encourage you.

‘When I decided I wanted to complete a full-distance triathlon, I posted my goal on LinkedIn

and shared it with my thousands of followers. Soon, I got dozens of messages from people wishing me luck. And many more telling me I was mad.’

‘Next, I looked for people planning to run a triathlon at a similar time, and we shared training plans and worked out together.

‘Combining the public accountability of sharing your goals with having a support team in place makes you much more likely to succeed.

‘Delay failure’ and ‘use your why’

Delaying failure is a key technique when achieving goals, Stocken said.

Stocken explained, ‘Delaying failure is about pushing yourself always to do one more thing. You may not achieve all your sales targets today, but sending one more email or making one more call delays failure. And that little thing is often enough to get you over a motivational slump.’

‘Doing something rather than nothing adds up to some serious steps towards the goal.’

The second weapon against procrastination is to ‘use your why,’ Stocken said.

He said, ‘Remind yourself ‘why’ you set the goal in the first place. Why are you working so hard and consistently towards this seemingly unreachable goal?

‘The answer will be unique to you and will be the key to keeping you consistent and

disciplined. You need to keep reminders of it visible in the places and moments when you are likely to want to give up.’

Athletes frequently write the names of children on their bodies to remind them of their ‘why’, said Stocken.

Write down your goals and set a time limit.

You can’t achieve your goals if you aren’t completely sure what you want to do and when, advised Stocken.

Research suggests that only a fifth of people (20 percent) regularly set goals, and less than three percent actually write these aspirations down.

Even worse, only one percent of people actually work on their goals every day, Stocken said.

‘Write it down. Be specific. The goal needs to be measurable, which means that it can’t be something vague like ‘being happy’ or ‘feeling good’ – you need to be able to measure that you’ve achieved your goal,’ he told

‘Lastly, make sure it’s got a time limit. When are you going to achieve this goal? If there’s no time limit, there’s no pressure to get it done, and you’ll keep putting it off until tomorrow.’

Take small actions to build discipline

Even taking small actions towards your goal helps to make it a reality – even if it’s something as small as running to the end of your street, said Stocken.

‘It’s often said that the hardest part of writing a book is starting, and the most challenging thing about going for a run is putting your trainers on,’ he said.

‘You need a blueprint that starts with you doing something today.

When going for a run, once you take the first small step of putting your trainers on, it’s not much more work to head out of the door and run for five meters. Once you’ve run for five meters, running to the end of the road doesn’t seem so hard.’

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PUBLISHED: 17:54, 19 November 2023 | UPDATED: 18:47, 19 November 2023

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